Loving this article, SO much! I am broke or I would become a paid subscriber.
Funnily enough, after trying the "to do list" approach and just feeling crappier for NOT completing it, I have made myself a "task completed" list with 10 lines on it and write down everything that I have achieved in a given day, even if it is just "got out of bed today" because some days, even that is very hard.
I also find the 5 minute timer invaluable. You can get a LOT of dishes rinsed in 5 minutes! I play music whilst working and that helps too.
Perfect. I don’t have ADHD but my son and husband do. Even if a person doesn’t have ADHD, I’ve always told others that I feel better if I create a list of things I’ve accomplished, rather than the popular ‘to do’ list. Sometimes in a day, I don’t realize how much I’ve actually done, especially if I’ve been home and the tasks are relatively ‘mindless’ such as - completed 2 loads of laundry, made dermatology appointment, mailed a get well card, etc. All of those items could’ve been on a To Do list with 15 other things and scratching them off would make it seem to me as if I got barely anything accomplished, yet each is a big deal. Do, thank you for posting your response about the ‘Things I got Done’ list b/ c that’s exactly what works for me! Kindred spirit! 😄🌸🪻☀️
I feel like a more effective version of “break it down” isn’t “cut the entire loaf of bread into slices before you start” but “pick it up and tear off a chunk with your teeth.”
Don’t even bother mentally breaking it up, just grab the nearest thing that would relate or the first bit that jumps into your head.
Like with cleaning, just crouch down and pick up that paper at arms length, and then while you’re there grab a few other things while crawling towards the bin to dump them into.
And then you’re in a different place and a new thing is within arms reach.
Ok THIS. THIS I can relate to. This works for me. The only way I can get myself doing things like cleaning is a NARROW focus: look at a thing. Does this thing belong here? No? Where? Put it there. Repeat.
I too have this paradox to contend with. It helps if I just map out the first two or thee steps and do those. Then I can look at the next two or three, and so on. My brain does, however, struggle with keeping the bigger picture in mind do that I get the steps in a reasonably sensible order. Sometimes I need to backtrack because I got the order out of whack, but I have allowed myself the accommodation of taking longer to do complex things.
It's all about getting into momentum. When you have even more tasks to do when you break it down, the best thing is to focus on the first 3 and combine it with the 5 minute rule. That will normally gets you going. 3 tasks at a time brings rythm and momentum. If not try productive procrastination. Do a couple of 2 minute tasks, that will help to you get started on a bigger task. And another thing, just focus on one thing at a time and make it simple for yourself.
My gawd I have needed this one forever. Thank you. Also broke rn, or I'd be a paid subscriber. I'm grateful for the content. I've been in a freeze state with my CPTSD for way too long, but it is very difficult to heal and reimmerge into the world when it is worse bc of the same tyrannical narcissist that led me to my last downward spiral. It is difficult to explain and embarrassing to talk about.
"...when it's worse bc of the same tyrannical narcissist that led me to my last downward spiral."
On a plus side, from now on you'll have an easy shorthand for explaining what that particular side of CPTSD feels like, to most of the world's population.
This was largely why it took me 10+ years to recover from 3 years of abuse from my son's father - pretty difficult to find ways to heal from abuse that is still continuing throughthe family court/visitation system. Even when you've gotten enough distance to finally see the repeated cycles of abuse you've been subjected to, there is a limit to how much healing you can do, when you're constantly being retriggered.
Don't know if this will be useful to you, but I made more progress in 2 years working with a "existential therapist" than in a decade of working with therapists who specialized in stuff like CBT and DBT.
Thank you. See that makes sense to me bc I have been in my healing journey mode for the past 5 years. It has been an intense experience to say the least. The thing I certainly did not need was that bastard to be back in the seat of power relatively unchecked again, and much worse this time around with his nazi freaks tagging along. I'm not my best self rn. I certainly don't want to have to be face to face with these vile people. I have not been in my training mode. I have much to do. Looks like I need to get outside and get some sunshine, huh?! ✊️🤘
OMG this was an amazing piece because as an adhder I do feel exactly how you described and often questioned what's wrong with me and it doesn't help that I suffer with bipolar depression and anxiety as well. I will use your tips and I'll keep you updated!
You took the words right outta my head! I was going to post something almost identical. The beating myself up part, not understanding why I can "just....", those are aha moments for me. I also am diagnosed Bipolar with depression and anxiety. Interesting combination, right? Just wanted to reach out and say, you're heard and supported and definitely not alone. 💜
This is unbelievably helpful! I’ve been practicing the do something for five minutes tactic, and getting into the Done is Better Than Perfect mindset. Small wins add up to big victories!
Yuuuuuuup! ADHD paralysis is an old and familiar friend:’) and each time I feel like I’ve learned all the hacks to beat it, it always comes back to tapping on the shoulder now and again. Especially nowadays that I’m starting something new (again), like building a small business. So tempted every day to reach for that immediate dopamine hit (it’s been saying Web tunes or K dramas/ C dramas for me), then to do the consistent work of showing up for the business without any promise of immediate rewards. Thank you for writing this article!
Great post! I have two daughters who have ADHD one of which is also on the Autism specctrum. I like to read as much as I can about what can be going on for them so that when they are in overwhelm I might be able to suggest some ways through for them. Thank you.
Pomodoro has been a real game changer for me. 25 mins is about the max my brain can focus before it starts going for a wander, and 5 minutes break is perfect to rest and recharge. And if I'm having a real scattered day, I do reverse pomodoro. I actually wrote an article about that and other little writing hacks if you're interested :)
I’d be interested. I set timers, I set fake deadlines, and neither ever works. I get hyper focused and can’t stop in the middle for the 25 minute timer, and no matter what I do I can’t psych myself out enough for a fake deadline to work. And breaking large tasks or projects into smaller goals works for me sometimes for physical labor type tasks, but I can’t do it for knowledge work.
For the hyperfocus, it might be worth setting a longer timer. A lot of people prefer the 50/10 setup, I just find 50 minutes is too much for me. I had trouble stopping for the break at first but I forced it and I found it let me work for much longer than just riding the hyperfocus. But it's really a matter of finding what works for you. I know that fake deadlines don't work for me either so we're on the level on that!
Loving this article, SO much! I am broke or I would become a paid subscriber.
Funnily enough, after trying the "to do list" approach and just feeling crappier for NOT completing it, I have made myself a "task completed" list with 10 lines on it and write down everything that I have achieved in a given day, even if it is just "got out of bed today" because some days, even that is very hard.
I also find the 5 minute timer invaluable. You can get a LOT of dishes rinsed in 5 minutes! I play music whilst working and that helps too.
Perfect. I don’t have ADHD but my son and husband do. Even if a person doesn’t have ADHD, I’ve always told others that I feel better if I create a list of things I’ve accomplished, rather than the popular ‘to do’ list. Sometimes in a day, I don’t realize how much I’ve actually done, especially if I’ve been home and the tasks are relatively ‘mindless’ such as - completed 2 loads of laundry, made dermatology appointment, mailed a get well card, etc. All of those items could’ve been on a To Do list with 15 other things and scratching them off would make it seem to me as if I got barely anything accomplished, yet each is a big deal. Do, thank you for posting your response about the ‘Things I got Done’ list b/ c that’s exactly what works for me! Kindred spirit! 😄🌸🪻☀️
Gretchen Rubin calls this the Ta Da 🎉 list! I use it regularly
Thank you. Interesting!
I have noticed that the advice to “break it down” conflicts with
Too Many Steps = Total Shutdown
Breaking down a task into steps, as many of those apps do, makes me feel like I have a thousand tasks and I shut down.
Yeah.
I feel like a more effective version of “break it down” isn’t “cut the entire loaf of bread into slices before you start” but “pick it up and tear off a chunk with your teeth.”
Don’t even bother mentally breaking it up, just grab the nearest thing that would relate or the first bit that jumps into your head.
Like with cleaning, just crouch down and pick up that paper at arms length, and then while you’re there grab a few other things while crawling towards the bin to dump them into.
And then you’re in a different place and a new thing is within arms reach.
Ok THIS. THIS I can relate to. This works for me. The only way I can get myself doing things like cleaning is a NARROW focus: look at a thing. Does this thing belong here? No? Where? Put it there. Repeat.
YES. I call this my ADHD cleaning style. I just go with whatever is in front of me. If I get distracted from one task with another-- totally OK.
I too have this paradox to contend with. It helps if I just map out the first two or thee steps and do those. Then I can look at the next two or three, and so on. My brain does, however, struggle with keeping the bigger picture in mind do that I get the steps in a reasonably sensible order. Sometimes I need to backtrack because I got the order out of whack, but I have allowed myself the accommodation of taking longer to do complex things.
Just do what works for you.
It's all about getting into momentum. When you have even more tasks to do when you break it down, the best thing is to focus on the first 3 and combine it with the 5 minute rule. That will normally gets you going. 3 tasks at a time brings rythm and momentum. If not try productive procrastination. Do a couple of 2 minute tasks, that will help to you get started on a bigger task. And another thing, just focus on one thing at a time and make it simple for yourself.
I gotta say I adore the name of your blog!!! Keep up the great work ADHD weasel :)
Now I also need to know how medieval people actually made soap…
Great article by the way!
My gawd I have needed this one forever. Thank you. Also broke rn, or I'd be a paid subscriber. I'm grateful for the content. I've been in a freeze state with my CPTSD for way too long, but it is very difficult to heal and reimmerge into the world when it is worse bc of the same tyrannical narcissist that led me to my last downward spiral. It is difficult to explain and embarrassing to talk about.
"...when it's worse bc of the same tyrannical narcissist that led me to my last downward spiral."
On a plus side, from now on you'll have an easy shorthand for explaining what that particular side of CPTSD feels like, to most of the world's population.
This was largely why it took me 10+ years to recover from 3 years of abuse from my son's father - pretty difficult to find ways to heal from abuse that is still continuing throughthe family court/visitation system. Even when you've gotten enough distance to finally see the repeated cycles of abuse you've been subjected to, there is a limit to how much healing you can do, when you're constantly being retriggered.
Don't know if this will be useful to you, but I made more progress in 2 years working with a "existential therapist" than in a decade of working with therapists who specialized in stuff like CBT and DBT.
Thank you. See that makes sense to me bc I have been in my healing journey mode for the past 5 years. It has been an intense experience to say the least. The thing I certainly did not need was that bastard to be back in the seat of power relatively unchecked again, and much worse this time around with his nazi freaks tagging along. I'm not my best self rn. I certainly don't want to have to be face to face with these vile people. I have not been in my training mode. I have much to do. Looks like I need to get outside and get some sunshine, huh?! ✊️🤘
OMG this was an amazing piece because as an adhder I do feel exactly how you described and often questioned what's wrong with me and it doesn't help that I suffer with bipolar depression and anxiety as well. I will use your tips and I'll keep you updated!
So glad to here that this post resonated with you ❤️
Keep us posted on how it goes!
You took the words right outta my head! I was going to post something almost identical. The beating myself up part, not understanding why I can "just....", those are aha moments for me. I also am diagnosed Bipolar with depression and anxiety. Interesting combination, right? Just wanted to reach out and say, you're heard and supported and definitely not alone. 💜
Thank you for this. As the mother of an ADHDer, this is very useful 🙂
…kinda like doing my taxes- I’ve made it into a ‘demand’ that haunts me and I still haven’t organized myself yet… 😵💫
I’ll read this tomorrow
I hate being like this!!!
Me too :(
This is unbelievably helpful! I’ve been practicing the do something for five minutes tactic, and getting into the Done is Better Than Perfect mindset. Small wins add up to big victories!
Yuuuuuuup! ADHD paralysis is an old and familiar friend:’) and each time I feel like I’ve learned all the hacks to beat it, it always comes back to tapping on the shoulder now and again. Especially nowadays that I’m starting something new (again), like building a small business. So tempted every day to reach for that immediate dopamine hit (it’s been saying Web tunes or K dramas/ C dramas for me), then to do the consistent work of showing up for the business without any promise of immediate rewards. Thank you for writing this article!
Great read! Applies also to overthinkers and procrastinators!
Great post! I have two daughters who have ADHD one of which is also on the Autism specctrum. I like to read as much as I can about what can be going on for them so that when they are in overwhelm I might be able to suggest some ways through for them. Thank you.
this looks like a really great post - please reconsider using generative AI images next time though…
Pomodoro has been a real game changer for me. 25 mins is about the max my brain can focus before it starts going for a wander, and 5 minutes break is perfect to rest and recharge. And if I'm having a real scattered day, I do reverse pomodoro. I actually wrote an article about that and other little writing hacks if you're interested :)
I’d be interested. I set timers, I set fake deadlines, and neither ever works. I get hyper focused and can’t stop in the middle for the 25 minute timer, and no matter what I do I can’t psych myself out enough for a fake deadline to work. And breaking large tasks or projects into smaller goals works for me sometimes for physical labor type tasks, but I can’t do it for knowledge work.
For the hyperfocus, it might be worth setting a longer timer. A lot of people prefer the 50/10 setup, I just find 50 minutes is too much for me. I had trouble stopping for the break at first but I forced it and I found it let me work for much longer than just riding the hyperfocus. But it's really a matter of finding what works for you. I know that fake deadlines don't work for me either so we're on the level on that!
Here's the article anyway. It's just what works for me, but maybe you'll find something of use for you too :) https://jdlear.substack.com/p/7-game-changing-tips-and-tools-for?r=21weyf