Decision Paralysis: How ADHD Turns Simple Choices into Existential Crises
Why even the smallest choices can feel like life-or-death for an ADHD brain, and learn simple hacks to break free.
You're standing in the grocery store aisle, staring at 32 different pasta sauces. Marinara, vodka, Alfredo, basil pesto - why are there so many? The brain’s screaming: just pick one. But you're frozen, stuck mid-thought like someone hit pause. Five minutes pass. Then ten. Suddenly pasta feels like astrophysics, and cereal is starting to look like a perfectly valid dinner option.
Unfortunately, decision paralysis is one of the ADHD brain’s favorite ways to sabotage your plans. Simple choices become huge obstacles, and even minor daily decisions can feel overwhelmingly complicated.
You might’ve tried decision-making apps, elaborate flowcharts, even flipping coins. But somehow, your brain still stalls. Time slips away, stress creeps in, and you’re left wondering why something so small feels so hard. Is it laziness? Being too indecisive? Needing to “just try harder”? Nah. It’s just ADHD decision paralysis - like your brain hits a traffic jam the second too many choices show up at once.
Also, this week’s worksheet is a little different. We made it two pages instead of the usual one. Free subscribers get access to the first half - just a small thank you for all the support lately. Paid subscribers can grab the full version, including the bonus breakdown sheet that makes bigger decisions easier to tackle. You’ll find the access link toward the end of this newsletter. Not a paid subscriber yet? Consider subscribing today.
Why decision paralysis hits hard
Every day, ADHDers face a hundred tiny decisions that most people breeze through: what to eat, what to wear, what to start first. But instead of moving through them smoothly, your brain hits pause. Not because you don't care, but because it cares too much. Every choice feels like a test you might fail, or a task you don't feel equipped to handle.
And when every option feels equally loud, or equally wrong, it becomes safer to stall. To not choose at all. To default to the familiar, or distract yourself and delay again.
This isn’t just frustrating. It’s draining. You know you’re capable of deciding, but your brain won’t cooperate. And that’s what makes decision paralysis not just annoying, but deeply demoralizing. It erodes confidence. It chips away at momentum. And it reinforces the exhausting cycle ADHDers know all too well:
Understanding why this happens, and giving it a name, is the first step towards changing it. When you can see it for what it is, (an overwhelmed brain, not a broken one), you can start finding ways to navigate through the fog, one decision at a time.
What’s really happening behind the curtains
Making a decision, any decision, can feel impossibly hard when you have ADHD. It’s not just about being indecisive; it’s about a brain that gets overwhelmed fast. When too many thoughts compete at once, or when you're unsure where to even begin, your mental process stalls. What looks like procrastination from the outside is often what we call analysis paralysis, a moment where the brain is simply too overloaded to move forward.
ADHD affects the areas of the brain responsible for planning, prioritizing, and taking action. One of the biggest contributors is executive dysfunction, your brain’s “management system” that usually helps filter decisions and break them down. But with ADHD, that system often hits overload. The more options on the table, or the more pressure you feel to choose correctly, the more your brain begins to freeze. One expert explains that being overwhelmed with options can “short circuit” your ability to think clearly – you overthink every angle and then shut down until the situation somehow resolves itself. On top of that, issues with working memory make it difficult to hold all the relevant information in mind. So instead of confidently weighing your options, your brain loops through the same thoughts, second-guessing itself again and again.
There’s also a neurochemical side to this. ADHD is closely linked to dopamine dysregulation, especially the kind that affects motivation and reward. Without enough dopamine, even a straightforward decision can feel pointless or exhausting. You might keep putting it off, not because you don’t care, but because none of the options spark enough interest to override the inertia. And when a choice finally does feel urgent, the pressure can trigger anxiety, making it even harder to act.
Then there’s the emotional layer. Many ADHDers wrestle with perfectionism and fear of failure, so every decision starts to feel like a test. If you can’t find the “best” option, you might avoid choosing at all. This all-or-nothing mindset – where nothing feels good enough, can quickly turn minor decisions into overwhelming mental battles. That’s why something as small as replying to a message or deciding what to wear can feel so high-stakes. It’s not about being flaky or difficult – it’s a built-in freeze response. And ADHD brains are more likely to freeze when they’re stressed, overstimulated, or emotionally flooded.
Understanding what’s actually going on under the surface can be a huge relief. Your stuck moments aren’t a sign that you’re lazy or broken – they’re a byproduct of a differently wired brain. One that just needs different strategies, not more pressure.
How to beat decision paralysis
Okay, deep breath, we’ve dissected why decision paralysis happens; now let’s unfreeze our brains. The goal isn’t instant Zen mastery, but providing your brain structure so choices feel manageable.
1. Limit the menu (fewer choices, fewer headaches)
The ADHD brain is easily overwhelmed when the list of options gets too long. That’s why trimming the menu, literally and figuratively, can make decisions feel more doable.
Start small. Plan a few fallback dinners for the week so you're not melting down at 7 p.m. with a fridge full of ingredients and no plan. Create a “go-to” wardrobe that removes the daily “what do I wear?” spiral. Even narrowing choices to just two (“Do I want tacos or pasta tonight?”) gives your brain a foothold.
This trick applies to bigger decisions too. When you're making a choice like picking a vacation or a job offer, define 2–3 deal-breakers (budget, commute, weather, etc.) and ignore everything else. As ADDitude Magazine explains in their article on decision fatigue, fewer variables help ADHD brains process more clearly. Read more here.
2. Beat the clock (give yourself a decision deadline)
The ADHD paradox: we often wait until the last second to decide, and then somehow become wildly productive. You can mimic that effect by setting a personal deadline.
Tell yourself, “By 4 p.m., I’ll choose between these two therapists.” Or set a timer: “I’ll spend 10 minutes reviewing options, then pick.” Giving yourself a clear finish line adds gentle pressure, just enough to push through the fog without causing panic.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, ADHD brains thrive when urgency and structure meet. A simple time limit can redirect your attention and keep your decision from stretching into infinity.
3. Externalize the chaos (get it out of your head)
When everything’s swirling in your head, get it out. Write it down. ADHD working memory fills up quickly, and offloading thoughts onto paper can instantly make things feel more manageable.
Grab a notebook, open a notes app, or sketch out a pros-and-cons chart. You don’t need to get fancy – even talking through your options out loud can help. This process reduces mental clutter and creates visual separation between you and the decision. Externalizing ideas allows your brain to make sense of them more clearly.
One extra tip? Try to do this in a calm space – away from noise or distractions. ADHD brains respond better when your environment isn’t yelling at you while your brain is already yelling at itself.
4. Don’t second guess yourself alone (phone a friend)
Sometimes you just need someone else in the room (or on the phone) to shake you loose. ADHDers often benefit from “body doubling,” having someone nearby while you do hard things, and decisions are no exception.
Talk through your options with someone who gets it. You might find that just saying the words out loud helps untangle your thinking. That person doesn’t need to solve it for you, but they can reflect back what matters to you or even just help you laugh about how stuck you feel.
Having another brain in the mix can reduce anxiety and increase clarity.
5. Default to “good enough” (done beats perfect)
If your brain is waiting for the “perfect” decision to show up… it’s going to be waiting forever. Perfectionism is a huge barrier for ADHDers. We think, “If I can’t do it right, I shouldn’t do it at all.” And suddenly a small decision feels like a moral dilemma.
Start telling yourself: good enough is good enough. Most choices don’t need to be optimized – they just need to get done. Try the rule of “move forward and fix later if needed.”
Accepting imperfection helps break the paralysis loop. It frees up energy and builds trust in your ability to handle what comes next.
Bottom line:
Your brain doesn’t need a perfect solution, it needs a starting point. Every time you use one of these strategies, you’re teaching your brain that decisions don’t have to feel like danger. They can be simple. Safe. Sometimes even fun.
And the more you practice, the more confident you’ll become. Not because it’s always easy, but because you’re building systems that work with your brain instead of against it.
You’ve got this.
Put the strategies into practice
Although decision paralysis might feel like an ADHD specialty, it doesn’t have to call the shots. Now, you’ve got tools to navigate the overwhelm: narrowing choices, setting deadlines, externalizing thoughts, talking things out, and letting “good enough” decisions be your friend.
To help you practice, we’ve created this week’s Decision Paralysis Worksheet. And since this is a special week, we’re sharing the first page with all free subscribers - no blur, no barriers.
Free subscribers: You can either click the image above (in a web browser) to download your copy, or visit the full PDF post using the ‘Download PDF’ button.
Paid subscribers: Use the same ‘Download PDF’ button to access the paid version - the second half is unlocked for you on the PDF post.
Whether you use the worksheet today or keep it handy for your next big dilemma, every decision you practice brings you one step closer to quieting that overwhelmed brain.
P.S. A few paid subscribers had trouble downloading the PDFs. If you run into any issues, simply hit reply to this email and let us know. We’ve tried to make the instructions clearer this week - but let us know if anything’s still confusing :)
From “you’re stupid” to 3,068 cards memorized
When David Farrow was a kid, school felt like a slow-motion horror film. He had ADHD and dyslexia, and everything that came easy to the other kids: reading aloud, remembering stuff, paying attention - felt like trying to swim through molasses. Teachers said he was lazy. One even called him stupid to his face... So David did what a lot of ADHD kids do: he stopped trying to do it their way. He started messing around with his own techniques. He’d doodle pictures to remember things. Turned boring info into stories. Bit by bit, he built a system that worked for his brain. Years later, that same system helped him set a Guinness World Record by memorizing the order of 3,068 playing cards. And he only looked at each card once.
He still says memory didn’t come naturally - it was something he trained into himself. But that’s the thing that sticks: the idea that our brains aren’t broken at all. They just need better instructions. Or different instructions. David’s method wasn’t about overcoming ADHD. It was about building with it. And it makes you wonder - what would happen if we all stopped forcing ourselves to learn the ‘normal’ way, and instead got curious about what our brains actually need?
Our ADHD meal planner is now live (sorta)
In case you missed it, we sent out a bonus newsletter on Sunday morning announcing the soft launch of our meal planning app. Here’s the TL;DR: after talking to 200+ ADHDers, we found that food decisions, especially meal planning, can feel overwhelmingly hard. So we built an app to help you generate meals in a few taps, taking into account your energy, flavor, and texture preferences.
Ever felt like you’re just craving something crunchy? Now we can turn that feeling into a meal plan :)
Read the full post by clicking the button below. And here’s a small peek at it in action:
This is absolutely me!
I had decision paralysis in Primark today buying socks!
Must have stood there for a good 30 minutes looking like a right idiot (or a shoplifter!) 🤦🏻♀️
What a great article 👏 Perfectly explained and deeply informative
Thx!